Forgive

I wonder who still reads this blog, no one i guess. I juz wanna say something simple here. I have forgiven and i have forgotten. Yes, there are times when i do think why is my world crashing down, but i believe everything happens for a reason. No point being filled with hatred. So all i have now in my memory is our good times together.

我会记得你的好和你的笑, 陪我度过的每一分每一秒,还会记得你的拥抱,承诺的事我全都做到.

Bored

Wow, its been a long time since i last blogged. Time does fly, its gg to be 2 months since i came back. Sometimes, i do miss Austin, the slow paced life, the slow paced relaxed driving style. Just chose my Fyp, been buggin me for quite some time. Finally chosen, hope i made the right choice, if not, 1 yr of shit. Wad have i been doing lately? Gym, tv, youtube, yea, tts abt my life. Waiting for the germans wannabe to come bac so tt we can go Peeeeeeeenang together. That so called prince of penang and his shit. Been long time since we ktved guys. Gg to be yr4 liaoz. Although i have no cca or wad in uni, i am veri happy with my uni life for the past 3 yrs. Although i dun have much frens in uni, or made any new frens, i am veri veri contented with u guys, becoz w/o u guys, lectures are really boring. So i wanna take this chance to thank a few guys for being my lecture and study ka ki.

They are firstly, the dude that pyscho me to go ME, den come lecture and play golf on his hp which has a sticker given by his lover, den alwaes say Confirm x3, but will last min pangseh. I wonder how did we made it thru design1 with him as a leader. I bet he is having some nice wild rendevous in germany now with his Rj babes. Secondly, the guy that always drink coffee, den act like he very interested in the lectures, but becoz of some car issues, always skip lectures, den these days alwaes wear damn dirty and ugly clothes to lectures. He was once my gym buddy, but now, i guess he benches as much as he curled in his prime. Sighz. Last but not least, to the guy with the most chiselled feature, drives a fierce black evo that has less than 200bhp, that is always seriousli honestly interested in the lectures, and has 1001 questions which Mr Dirty Clothes will always try his best to answer. When checking out babes, he will ask a all impt question "got diesease anot?"

Finally

Finally met up with u, after 4 months and 22 days. I hav nv changed, but i realised u did. U no longer seem to lead the lifestyle u used to. It was kinda hurting when u said u wanna meet ur frens for ur routine fridae late nite session coz u havent had tt for 2 weeks. I juz met u once and this fridae u want to get back to ur "new routine". There is nothing much i can do if u really miss those 2 weeks abscence with ur frens instead of the 20 over weeks of my abscence. Perhaps our 5 yrs relationship is not as strong as that u have with ur frens of many many many years. Mayb u haf grown up, while i am still stuck in the happy world we used to share. Whu else can i blame but myself. Mayb drinking and wasting ur life late in the nite everyweek is fun, i dunno. Juz like i am sure ur frens will not understand y i rather work on my delts and pecs (maybe more on my bis and tris), and y i consider fun as my weekly refugees soccer, seeing the fucking high ball and hear pple shout its mine and my balls shrink when i go for it, and y i consider fun as doing push ups after i kena a fucking unrespectable 50-10. Mayb u and i haf different directions since i left. What am i supposed to do? What can i do? I dunno, and i dun realli wanna care. I hav been hurt enough, as Chan said, mayb its time to love myself. And i will. I will get out of this shit pit i am coz i love myself, I will not let anyone do a 50-10 to me coz i love myself, and i will no longer let my balls shrink when the ball is juz a little high, fuck ya high balls coz i love myself.

Back in Singapore

Hey guys, juz wanna thank all of u for ur support and encouragement all these months. Without all ur support, the following is not possible. Actualli i also nv realli mug, but den, well, there is no denying the gd :)

Am i xialan? Yes. Am i zai? Hell Yes. Now its time to settle lotsa stuff back. Hope can meet up with everyone to show u nice photos.

Soon 2 more to go

Its 10pm now. After tonite, it will be 2 more days to go. One more exam to go for tomorrow. Kinda give up on tomorrow's paper though. Now my mind is filled with nothing but going home. From the dreadful months, it reduced to weeks, now its juz days left. Guess this shall be my last post in US. Cant get this song off my mind. Rene Liu's 很爱很爱你. Its a old old song, guess around 1998 i think. Thats 10 yrs. But this song describes what i feel now. I know it might have been me that caused you all this misery that led to all these, and this whole r/s crashing. Maybe i loved you the wrong way for the past 5 years. But whatever the maybe, I still love you alot and maybe its time I love you in another way, and perhaps this will be the last thing I ever do for you. Maybe I am not the right guy afterall. Maybe we are just destined to be good frens. Cant really concentrate on anything else the past few days. Although I know i have to concentrate on passing my stoopid exams, this whole r/s thingy is in my mind even when i am in the exam hall.

Dad, Mum, Sis, I am never ever gg to take u guys for granted again.
Chan, How, we have a bball date. Sprewell is coming home.
Refugees, Bowen Sec this Sunday, ur centerback is ready.
Clements, bring the weights on.

8 more to go

Its been a long time since we last talked. I wonder when will be the next. 8 more days and i will be back, realli cant wait to be home. Although i had fun these 5 months, but if i could turn back time, i rather not have all those fun. I realli miss my family and frens, the warmth of my home and the warmth and support they bring me. These days of counting down seem to pass so slow so slow. But i know i hav to be strong and i will be. Hopefully this whole saga, the homesick thing and the failed relationship thing will only make me stronger.

01s17

Was surfing ard youtube, den i came across Nsync's Bye Bye Bye, den made me think back of Nj. It was a veri good move to change combi, to come into s17. When i walked into the class, i sat next to this guy who looks like Aaron Kwok. His eyebrows thicker than Zhong Kui. In the far corner sat this guy in all white, face as white as his uniform. Den in his front sat this macho, bossy looking guy. I had no idea at all dat we wld hold such a bond in the end. Sighz, when i am back, u guys will still be overseas, or doing internship.
Well, there is still another guy to hang out with, someone whom my first impression of him on the court was "wtf is this xialan kia doing here" Someone who up till now still deny his mistake(s).
I realli wish i could turn back time, enjoy those moments for a little longer. Those 2 yrs were the best of my education life. Carefree as can be, with such good company.
Thanks for those Fire in the Hole moments, those dai dee in classroom moments, those rooftop + old changi moments, those shooting in the dark aft training moments, those North South highway moments. I want to be forever young~! Pple say diamonds are forever, to me, i want u guys forever.
Thanks Aaron KangTa How, Andy What time is it now? Lim, Mickey Tan, Boss love secretaries + S**TS Heng, Ekin Hum Sup Lo