Forgive

I wonder who still reads this blog, no one i guess. I juz wanna say something simple here. I have forgiven and i have forgotten. Yes, there are times when i do think why is my world crashing down, but i believe everything happens for a reason. No point being filled with hatred. So all i have now in my memory is our good times together.

我会记得你的好和你的笑, 陪我度过的每一分每一秒,还会记得你的拥抱,承诺的事我全都做到.

Bored

Wow, its been a long time since i last blogged. Time does fly, its gg to be 2 months since i came back. Sometimes, i do miss Austin, the slow paced life, the slow paced relaxed driving style. Just chose my Fyp, been buggin me for quite some time. Finally chosen, hope i made the right choice, if not, 1 yr of shit. Wad have i been doing lately? Gym, tv, youtube, yea, tts abt my life. Waiting for the germans wannabe to come bac so tt we can go Peeeeeeeenang together. That so called prince of penang and his shit. Been long time since we ktved guys. Gg to be yr4 liaoz. Although i have no cca or wad in uni, i am veri happy with my uni life for the past 3 yrs. Although i dun have much frens in uni, or made any new frens, i am veri veri contented with u guys, becoz w/o u guys, lectures are really boring. So i wanna take this chance to thank a few guys for being my lecture and study ka ki.

They are firstly, the dude that pyscho me to go ME, den come lecture and play golf on his hp which has a sticker given by his lover, den alwaes say Confirm x3, but will last min pangseh. I wonder how did we made it thru design1 with him as a leader. I bet he is having some nice wild rendevous in germany now with his Rj babes. Secondly, the guy that always drink coffee, den act like he very interested in the lectures, but becoz of some car issues, always skip lectures, den these days alwaes wear damn dirty and ugly clothes to lectures. He was once my gym buddy, but now, i guess he benches as much as he curled in his prime. Sighz. Last but not least, to the guy with the most chiselled feature, drives a fierce black evo that has less than 200bhp, that is always seriousli honestly interested in the lectures, and has 1001 questions which Mr Dirty Clothes will always try his best to answer. When checking out babes, he will ask a all impt question "got diesease anot?"

Finally

Finally met up with u, after 4 months and 22 days. I hav nv changed, but i realised u did. U no longer seem to lead the lifestyle u used to. It was kinda hurting when u said u wanna meet ur frens for ur routine fridae late nite session coz u havent had tt for 2 weeks. I juz met u once and this fridae u want to get back to ur "new routine". There is nothing much i can do if u really miss those 2 weeks abscence with ur frens instead of the 20 over weeks of my abscence. Perhaps our 5 yrs relationship is not as strong as that u have with ur frens of many many many years. Mayb u haf grown up, while i am still stuck in the happy world we used to share. Whu else can i blame but myself. Mayb drinking and wasting ur life late in the nite everyweek is fun, i dunno. Juz like i am sure ur frens will not understand y i rather work on my delts and pecs (maybe more on my bis and tris), and y i consider fun as my weekly refugees soccer, seeing the fucking high ball and hear pple shout its mine and my balls shrink when i go for it, and y i consider fun as doing push ups after i kena a fucking unrespectable 50-10. Mayb u and i haf different directions since i left. What am i supposed to do? What can i do? I dunno, and i dun realli wanna care. I hav been hurt enough, as Chan said, mayb its time to love myself. And i will. I will get out of this shit pit i am coz i love myself, I will not let anyone do a 50-10 to me coz i love myself, and i will no longer let my balls shrink when the ball is juz a little high, fuck ya high balls coz i love myself.

Back in Singapore

Hey guys, juz wanna thank all of u for ur support and encouragement all these months. Without all ur support, the following is not possible. Actualli i also nv realli mug, but den, well, there is no denying the gd :)

Am i xialan? Yes. Am i zai? Hell Yes. Now its time to settle lotsa stuff back. Hope can meet up with everyone to show u nice photos.

Soon 2 more to go

Its 10pm now. After tonite, it will be 2 more days to go. One more exam to go for tomorrow. Kinda give up on tomorrow's paper though. Now my mind is filled with nothing but going home. From the dreadful months, it reduced to weeks, now its juz days left. Guess this shall be my last post in US. Cant get this song off my mind. Rene Liu's 很爱很爱你. Its a old old song, guess around 1998 i think. Thats 10 yrs. But this song describes what i feel now. I know it might have been me that caused you all this misery that led to all these, and this whole r/s crashing. Maybe i loved you the wrong way for the past 5 years. But whatever the maybe, I still love you alot and maybe its time I love you in another way, and perhaps this will be the last thing I ever do for you. Maybe I am not the right guy afterall. Maybe we are just destined to be good frens. Cant really concentrate on anything else the past few days. Although I know i have to concentrate on passing my stoopid exams, this whole r/s thingy is in my mind even when i am in the exam hall.

Dad, Mum, Sis, I am never ever gg to take u guys for granted again.
Chan, How, we have a bball date. Sprewell is coming home.
Refugees, Bowen Sec this Sunday, ur centerback is ready.
Clements, bring the weights on.

8 more to go

Its been a long time since we last talked. I wonder when will be the next. 8 more days and i will be back, realli cant wait to be home. Although i had fun these 5 months, but if i could turn back time, i rather not have all those fun. I realli miss my family and frens, the warmth of my home and the warmth and support they bring me. These days of counting down seem to pass so slow so slow. But i know i hav to be strong and i will be. Hopefully this whole saga, the homesick thing and the failed relationship thing will only make me stronger.

01s17

Was surfing ard youtube, den i came across Nsync's Bye Bye Bye, den made me think back of Nj. It was a veri good move to change combi, to come into s17. When i walked into the class, i sat next to this guy who looks like Aaron Kwok. His eyebrows thicker than Zhong Kui. In the far corner sat this guy in all white, face as white as his uniform. Den in his front sat this macho, bossy looking guy. I had no idea at all dat we wld hold such a bond in the end. Sighz, when i am back, u guys will still be overseas, or doing internship.
Well, there is still another guy to hang out with, someone whom my first impression of him on the court was "wtf is this xialan kia doing here" Someone who up till now still deny his mistake(s).
I realli wish i could turn back time, enjoy those moments for a little longer. Those 2 yrs were the best of my education life. Carefree as can be, with such good company.
Thanks for those Fire in the Hole moments, those dai dee in classroom moments, those rooftop + old changi moments, those shooting in the dark aft training moments, those North South highway moments. I want to be forever young~! Pple say diamonds are forever, to me, i want u guys forever.
Thanks Aaron KangTa How, Andy What time is it now? Lim, Mickey Tan, Boss love secretaries + S**TS Heng, Ekin Hum Sup Lo

More of 6 Flags

Dallas

Went to Dallas to see the whole JFK thingy and also to 6 Flags over Texas at Arlington. That is a theme park which is somehow linked to Warner Bros and is filled with amazingly scary roller coaster rides and stuff.

College Station

Went to College Station to meet up with Alex and Liptong. Bought lots of stuff from Steve and Barry's. Nice place to be. Ate at a very nice saloon like steakhouse for dinner. This is not the largest prime rib they offer. There are bigger ones~!

Brothers

To all my brothers who have been there for me, i just wanna thank you guys :)

The first Starbucks in the world. @Seattle

Seattle (西雅图）

温各华滑雪

Vancouver

Now i know y so many HK pple love to migrate to Vancouver. Doesnt this look abit like the view when u look over Hong Kong Island from Tsim Tsa Tsui?

Feelings

I am a simple guy with a simple wish. Though i admire all those posh cars out there, although i wish i cld drive a SLK before i turn 30, live in a nice condo somewhere in a prime area. But these are just fantasies. Fantasies for me to waste my time to day dream on. Putting all these aside, i have juz one simple request in life, that is growing old with the woman i love. And i m sure u know whu it is. I dun care for anything else. I just want to spend the rest of my life with her and this really is a promise which i will keep till eternity. There are many things i do not care abt tian chang di jiu, but this relationship is smth which i definitely want a tian chang di jiu. I just wanna be there to shelter u from the rain, to be there to shield you from the wind. I do not care abt whu is giving in more or wad. All i know is no matter wad, i will continue to give my love and that is a fact that will never change. My heart has long been void of other feelings except my love towards u.

Can time past faster

I really hope time can fly, and i can be home soon. Not that i am homesick, but i have so much to resolve back home. No one can feel how much i wanna come home. Each day feels like a week. Sighz, this is life i guess. Mayb this is to make me stronger mentally. But i do not know how long more can i take it, i really wanna come home.

Lost, pain

一天寄一张
没有地址的明信片给你
今天在东京明天在巴黎
只想告诉你
我身不由己学不会分离
不断寻找
逐渐模糊的回忆
一天送一束
没有署名的玫瑰给你
假装是你我还在一起
在没有你的国度里
好好专心的想你
不断逃避
我的心就不会死去
如果这是我爱你最好的距离
我愿意永远的离开你
如果这是你给我最温柔的暗示
我可以永远的忘了你
如果这是我爱你最好的距离
我愿意欺骗我自己离开你
如果这是你给我最温柔的等待
我可以孤单的走下去

Didnt noe that this song which i like alot is realli wad my feelings are now. I dunno how he treats u, i onli noe if we didnt have it in us, we wun hav gone thru this thick and thin for nearly 5 yrs. I noe there is still love inside us.

Houston

Drove to Houston over the weekend, met up with Mr Lim's First love. Watched my fav Iverson and Carmelo lost to Rockets, ate dim sum at chinatown, went into a chinese/cantonese drama/cd shop~! Drove to Austin Rodeo after tt~!

Missing home again

Dunno why, this feeling is back strongly again. I know i am here to enjoy myself, i am here to have fun, but this aint fun at all. If only i cld turn back time, i will definitely stay home. I miss home so so so much. :(

O.C.

I stayed on after the rally and guess what i was rewarded with? The picture says it all~! Ryan Atwood.

Clinton in UTexas

Attended the rally by Bill Clinton hours ago in my school. He is such a good speaker.

HR

Wierd, this goes out to my HR grp. I was surfing ard in youtube, den came across this song, reminded me of the fun time we had doing the project. Job well done, the song says it all. Nb, although tt module i get lj grade, haha, but it was still fun. Cheers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ForZY9Zj5gQ&feature=related

Hectic Week

Going to go for my first transport midterm exam at 8pm later, wth man, 8-10pm. Tml still have geostats midterm in the morning as well. There is smth to cheer me up at least. Tml evening, i am attending a rally in sch, by Bill Clinton, and on Thursday, I am attending a support Obama Session which is hosted by Ben Mckenzie (dear shld noe whu is that, and so do u OC fans out there). Haha, i realli hope i get a pic of him.

Faraway

This is past 12 midnight in Austin. I shld be at dear's hse now, but i am so faraway. Sighz. Gg to be 2 months since i last saw you. Cant believe its been so long since I last held ur hand, kissed u goodnight. Wait for me, Hugz.

Urban Outfitters

Haha, me with a bright green Kangol beanie at Urban Outfitters. Tried to do the "slanted mouth" action which Mr GenY cop always do, hmm, but quite a failure. I was trying to think of another word to describe Mr GenY Cop, but nehz, alot of pple have been hurt in the incident. To all those pple shopping at sgspree, there is a Urban Outfitter shop just below my hall. Jealous rite? haha~! There is also a American Apparel shop few stores away.

Obama Saluting Supporters

This is Barack Obama saluting his supporters. Vote for change~! Lets bring the troops home~! Health Insurance for everyone, reduce tax rates for the poor, make college affordable for everyone~!

Obama Rally Feb 22 2008

Just attended my first political rally ever, and it is by presidential candidate Barack Obama. Its damn happening. Wanted to get a nice tee shirt of him, but nice ones were sold out after the rally. I dun mind attending a Hillary one, but dun think she is holding one in Austin.

Here Without You - 3 doors down

I miss you so so much dear. Hugz~!

Happier times

Not only do i miss my dear and my family, this is another reason y i miss home as well. Nothing can compare to the joy u guys brought me. I love my centerback position alot, please dun ask me be striker. :) Where are those days where me and guan blame ah kun for defensive laspe? Where are those days where we supper guys? Where are those days where "4ofakind, orgasmboy, mai, cyrax, LAMER" pump 2,2 together? I cant fucking find them here in US. I live for those days guys. Cheers

Stomach Upset

Been feeling very full and winded since last Wednesday. Ate very little, thght it would get ok. Saturday, it got worse and now, i feel damn horrible. Cldnt sleep well last nite with the rumbling stomach. Y is all these happening to me? When u are sick, the homesickness sets in even more. What can i do? I really really is at the maximum homesickness now. Its still 85 more days to go. How can i endure this pain?

San Antonio...

Yeapz, this is San Antonio. Felt like writing another post coz i am kinda feeling down again. Y do i get this feeling all the time? At least this trip has told me something, I am a very home orientated guy. I shall divert my unhappiness and loneliness onto smth. I am gg to pia supersets everyday till i tire myself out of this pain and misery.

Feeling better

I wanna thank dear for talking to me for so long on the phone, and being there for me to comfort me. Realli dunno wad will happen without u. Though we are thousands of miles apart, u are still so close in my heart. And I must also thank my bro for 14 years for encouraging me. I am feeling much better now. Will look forward to my Seattle/Vancouver trip and also my Houston and Dallas trip. Might not go Chicago after all, there is a shooting in a Uni there today, 5 dead, 18 injured, gunman walked into a lecture hall with a shotgun and pumped. Killed himself later. Will engage in retail therapy tomolo, to make myself feel better and to reward myself. :)

Monday Night Raw

Went to WWE Monday Night Raw @ Austin on the 4th Feb. Its a pity Stone Cold retired, if not, if he appears, the whole areana will go crazy, well, coz this is is hometown, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Not many big names, but there was still a few guys i like appearing, so its for u guys to test ur WWE knowledge, Enjoy the photos.

This describes my feeling

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDQnkYwfNfk

This song best describes my feeling. I realli wanna go home, but i cant. Listening to this made me tear, i know i am weak, but i just cant help it. A month plus is realli enough. This is realli not the life i want. Fuck SEP.

I wanna go home

People all say SEP is a interesting part of one's life. After one and a half month here, i beg to differ. Its a real sucky feeling when u haf to do homework everyday and study for test every week. Its like there is no end to this. Well, u may think i can fuck care the hw, but den, to pass here, there is a absolute mark u hafta get, not a bell curve. This sux. And the absolute mark to pass for most classes is like 75. Wtf man. Its like I haf nv been so hardworking in my life before. I miss Singapore food. The food here is like, expensive and in general, NOT nice at all. True enough, i had my fair share of delicious food here, but u either haf to pay a price for it, or its like so damn far. I miss Clementi Central, with the yong tau foo, hokkien mee, even the chix rice.
Well, shopping is great, but it gets kinda boring. I miss orchard, i miss suntec, marina, even westmall. Perhaps i am not the kind suited to get out of my comfort zone. But den again, the life of a student in US realli sux. I thght as a exchange student, i wld be so free i do not know wad to do. I am fucking wrong. I cant even plan any long weekend to go travel. WTF. Summarizing it, I wanna go home, back to the place where i can chill with dear and frens every nite, where i can go KBox after or during school hours, spend the weekends lazing around.

Photos from Texas Vs Baylor

This is us after the match~! We are all doing the longhorn logo, which is like the logo for UTexas, machiam like spiderman like that. #3 is damn zun~!

Big 12 Conference

Watched my first live College basketball match juz now. Texas winning 80-72 over Baylor. Realli veri nail biting match as Texas were down by as much as 14 i think in the first half. It was a real fight back. Texas has been playing rather badly these few games, and at this rate, i realli pray that they will make it to the NCAA. They are too reliant on their PG, DJ Augustin. Well, he is fast and has vision, BUT he cannot do the (3 step magic which my team mate did few yrs back). CNY is nxt week, sighz, i miss Bengawan Solo pineapple tarts~!! Looking forward to Monday Night Raw, though my seats are realli far back. Dear, 3212342~!

Mr President

Yeapz, me and Mr Bush. Funny thing though, i have no pictures with Mr Nathan. Alrite, i will make it a point to take a photo with Mr Nathan when i come home. This weekend, will be going to a bball match. UT against Baylor's. Been watching alot of College Bball, they play it on tv everyday. Everytime i see a guy alley dunk, i will wonder "will he get to finnish his college education before being drafted?" Next Monday will be a hopefully childhood dream come true. Monday Night Raw at Austin~! Woohoo, Triple H tag with Heart Break Kid. Sighz, if onli Scott Steiner was still around. I would gladly kiss his bis. Ok, maybe not, tt sounds too gay. And Sunday is Superbowl~! Well, dont ask me who do i support, I no nothing about Giants or Patriots. But i kinda like the name New England Patriots. Sighz, football season is over, wun get to watch a football game. Football is crazy here, machiam like last time Malaysia Cup, or even more siao. Still remember the time when Singapore won Pahang in 1994. Abbas Saad scoring a hat trick. So, lets hope its a sporty week ahead for me.

Texas State Capitol

This is the Capitol of Texas. As Austin is the capital city of Texas, this is why the capitol is here. Well, it does look like a pseudo Washington Capitol. I took a free guided tour of the Capitol which went through Texas's history. Long time ago, the Spanish landed on it, den the French, den it became part of Mexico, gained its independence, fought the civil war, and den became part of the US. Well, thats the reason why they fly the Texas flag the same level as the US flag.

Check out this horse, nope, its not a Ferrari, its a Ford Mustang. Its one of those "USA" muscle cars. V8, 4.6L, 300hp, and best of all 20k USD for a new car. But then again, US cars are all like that, engine big big, like fierce fierce like that, bhp also fierce fierce, BUT engine not turbo charged. I think Evo can pia this car. But den again, Mustang is the pride of USA. Chio man, if i can, i will buy this car next time, although it is "nice to look, not gd to eat". Heck man, pure american muscle~!

First post

Its afternoon now, weird weather in Austin. There is not a single cloud, the sun is so fuck bright, but yet it is fuck cold. Ok, maybe not as cold as the previous few days. Its ard 5 degrees now. Yeah, its in Celsius, not Fahrenheit. Knn, went school and realise, well, its not tt bad, US education is now slowly trying to follow the SI units, although there are still some stuff where we need to use the Ibs and stuff.

Went gym that day in school den realise, knn, the weights all in pounds. Nb, who will bring calculator to gym. So i tried the biggest piece for benching. 45Ibs, ok lorz, lazy to add more. Will add more soon i guess. Attended my first weight training class on Wednesday . Its for beginners, and the ang mors there dun look beginners lorz. Wadever, give me time. Omg, realised that i spent alot over the past 3 weeks, realli alot of money. Ok, shopping shall stop. At Roundrock outlets, i bought stuff which i dun realli need, Gstar jeans, levis corduroy pants. But the best of all is still at Barton Creek. I walked into my first Moose shop~! Screw those pple in singapore wearing the fake AF. Get a life dudes, go for the real stuff. As usual, bought their polos, which were on clearance. Will be back for more. Been buying so much that I am feeling kinda scared. Must really thank the Singapoe Student Association (SSA) pepple for bringing us around, without them, we wun hav tried so many nice food and visit so many nice shopping places.

I really miss dear. Due to the 14hrs time difference, it is really kinda hard for us to be able to sit down and have nice long chats. I will give up all my shopping loot just to hug her for 1 second now. Dear, we will cherish all those short time we have for talking. Hugz.

US colleges have realli good school spirit, remind me of those days in VS, where everyone will support the school in Track or cross country. Its much more passionate here. Its like everyone wears the school t-shirt, sweaters, blah blah.... Its like a cult man. Of coz with such school spirits, there will be school rivalry. So our rivals are Texas A&M, who are called the Aggies. Oh, we are known as Longhorns. I havent tried shouting Aggies in the school compound yet, oh well, i think i dun dare try.